Home Alone

I love doing life with others, but sometimes it's just good to get alone. My roommate is out of town for about 10 days, so I have the house all to myself. I can do whatever I want and not think about another person once I cross my rented threshold . Ohhh, what a glorious, self-absorbed thought.

I have had a lot of change and challenge in the past couple of weeks, so it is nice to be able to have some processing space, where all time on my hands is for me. I have time to listen to my own thoughts, ruminate on my feelings, my doubts, my questions. I actually have time to stop and think through some things without having to ask first how another person is doing.

You see, as a chaplain, I spend 30% of my work day asking questions, 65% of my day listening, and 5% talking. Being a verbal processor myself, I have had to make some adjustments in the last year and a half. I have always been the counselor type since I was in pre-school, but God has always blessed me with friends that have been good listeners. Just seems that I spend less and less time with those people and more and more time with the ones who need me to let them vent. Whew! The ears, mind and heart are wiped at the end of the day. But for the next ten days, amidst the times at work and social engagements that I force upon myself so as not to become a hermit and fall into the isolation trap, I get to hang out with just me...and whomever I so choose to invite. I have some exciting guests on the list, mostly in book form, of course, who have already been gracing my presence and keeping me in very good company. I am in the middle of five such visitations thus far. Amiee Semple McPherson, Smith Wigglesworth, Brennan Manning, Charles Herrick, William A. Dyrness, and tonight I caught up with Ben Stein in Expelled.

My brother and sister-in-law's baby has been delivered as of yesterday and they are anxiously awaiting her to be signed over by the birth mom to their custody. She was a little over two pounds and will be in the NICU in San Antonio for a month. Please pray for them. I got a picture via text today. I wish I could rock her and welcome her into this world.

The church hunt continues. I went to two more on Sunday and will do return visits to two this Sunday morning and a new one on Sunday night. At least there are choices, even when you don't want to have to make one.

I am praying this week about staying in this house, at least for two more months. I have to let my landlord know something by Saturday. My roommate will probably be leaving here after February, but I am not sure the work and ministry of this house is done. Just praying for the roommate(s) and funding to keep it going if that is what God thinks is best. If not, I am praying for a different message to come my way by Saturday.

I am thinking about what it means to be in a place that I have been in for a bit, about how itchy my feet get when a new glimpse creeps across the horizon. I am thinking about what it means to stay rooted when movement starts its siren's call.

Yes, I am home alone.